i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She even gives head with a lisp.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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