Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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