am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
