Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
