I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
