We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize