he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
