Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
