Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
