weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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