Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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