Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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