There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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