I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
