Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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