I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
