there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
how drunk are you?
Several
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
