well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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