I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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