All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
