Duck Duck Cougar?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
