He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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