4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
