yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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