I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
