There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
