This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
