i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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