question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
