eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
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I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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