He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
