Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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