there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
