You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
