Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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(214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8

Replies (37) Good night (8434) Bad night (764)
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(561): View more from Florida

I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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(561): I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on. http://tfl.nu/csv9

Replies (14) Good night (5088) Bad night (850)
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(561): View more from Florida

I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love

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(561): I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love http://tfl.nu/jtcg

Replies (15) Good night (1394) Bad night (3749)
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(480): View more from Arizona

he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him

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(480): he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/q5w1

Replies (60) Good night (6588) Bad night (1123)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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(651): asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night. http://tfl.nu/52m5

Replies (13) Good night (1613) Bad night (713)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

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(780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a

Replies (8) Good night (1896) Bad night (713)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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(770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7

Replies (9) Good night (1151) Bad night (1524)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG

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(857): HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG http://tfl.nu/zv8v

Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (966)
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(317): View more from Indiana

This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.

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(317): This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new. http://tfl.nu/2l1q

Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (428)
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(678): View more from Georgia

After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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(678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv

Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (533)
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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food

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(917): I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food http://tfl.nu/2i31

Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (581)
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(407): View more from Florida

He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.

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(407): He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar. http://tfl.nu/i3q4

Replies (3) Good night (336) Bad night (1029)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.

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(905): Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping. http://tfl.nu/2fiu

Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (335)
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(315): View more from New York

She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.

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(315): She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight. http://tfl.nu/lw42

Replies (7) Good night (357) Bad night (789)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.

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(919): I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot. http://tfl.nu/jowl

Replies (2) Good night (977) Bad night (358)

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