Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  You're completely useless in the revolution.

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  (817): You're completely useless in the revolution. http://tfl.nu/br33
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (716)
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  (707): View more from California

  Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.

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  (707): Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver. http://tfl.nu/8bap
  Replies (11) Good night (1685) Bad night (714)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I only lived at night.

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  (734): I wish I only lived at night. http://tfl.nu/lkra
  Replies (16) Good night (4269) Bad night (762)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."

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  (614): If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers." http://tfl.nu/20g9
  Replies (6) Good night (1827) Bad night (667)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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  (502): I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound. http://tfl.nu/d4li
  Replies (16) Good night (847) Bad night (6619)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.

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  (214): You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet. http://tfl.nu/ajf1
  Replies (23) Good night (7619) Bad night (1142)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1419) Bad night (4516)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.

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  (816): Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink. http://tfl.nu/iqnv
  Replies (3) Good night (2406) Bad night (990)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards

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  (973): Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards http://tfl.nu/2nd3
  Replies (8) Good night (2033) Bad night (1082)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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  (732): I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach. http://tfl.nu/2w13
  Replies (8) Good night (2679) Bad night (703)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.

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  (814): I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/0v9r
  Replies (7) Good night (1601) Bad night (757)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.

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  (256): Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl. http://tfl.nu/7wpk
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You're such a Yankee.

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  (401): He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable. (508): You're such a Yankee. http://tfl.nu/y54r
  Replies (0) Good night (797) Bad night (372)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.

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  (307): Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need. http://tfl.nu/fcjh
  Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.

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  (612): Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today. http://tfl.nu/5bck
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (140)

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