Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

  (1-310): View more from California

  Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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  (310): I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble (1-310): Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo http://tfl.nu/rwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (594)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2850) Bad night (1036)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.

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  (225): Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation. http://tfl.nu/om4a
  Replies (9) Good night (2197) Bad night (1331)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?

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  (306): Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'? http://tfl.nu/gncd
  Replies (14) Good night (4928) Bad night (1145)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

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  (703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2 http://tfl.nu/k675
  Replies (47) Good night (4128) Bad night (9511)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1244) Bad night (4410)
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  (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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  (650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you http://tfl.nu/blf7
  Replies (38) Good night (9986) Bad night (769)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'

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  (309): We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.' http://tfl.nu/2fkm
  Replies (17) Good night (9580) Bad night (1565)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.

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  (+44): I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/v2mo
  Replies (8) Good night (2032) Bad night (938)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  If this party got busted it would be an improvement

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  (928): If this party got busted it would be an improvement http://tfl.nu/vaa5
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (1524)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT

  (440): View more from Ohio

  COME TO THE BLANKET FORT

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  (440): OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT (440): COME TO THE BLANKET FORT http://tfl.nu/1mvf
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (636)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.

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  (512): Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice. http://tfl.nu/qhen
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (353)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.

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  (540): I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism. http://tfl.nu/6sut
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (278)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.

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  (203): So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza. http://tfl.nu/aaw9
  Replies (1) Good night (777) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.

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  (574): Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again. http://tfl.nu/4me9
  Replies (2) Good night (148) Bad night (320)

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