If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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