I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
