Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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