i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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