no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
