I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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