I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
