well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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