My cat gives me a boner
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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