we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
