I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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