Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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