Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
