I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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