glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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