carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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