Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
