im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
