i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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