dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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