Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
