Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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