what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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