I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
