he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he shaved USA in his pubs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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