How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
