When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
