I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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