His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it because I queefed?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
