a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
